Things Fall Apart (P)

Sometimes the wind whips up the faintest of leaves from their engraved comfort that is the ground, and takes them for a ride.

It twirls and tickles their inconsistent innocence as if relocating and misplacing their homes isn’t enough.

And nine times out of ten, those leaves never return because things fall apart.

I feel that we must learn to pick the battles that we will never start if we ever intend to fail. Because to fail, is to bleed;

And to bleed, one must suffer;

And to suffer, one must cry;

Because to cry is to release our unevolved pride, which we display like the back of our aging hands shielding our faces as a mechanism of defense.

And in that motion, I think our souls weep louder than our eyes bleed gold, because we bare what our lungs can’t hold.

We are attached to what he did and what she said because they know what you are and that isn't enough.

And when that thought spreads itself into every corner and crevice of my veins, my arms fold numb.

My legs disintegrate as follicles of reality seep into the seams of my brain; because enough is the son of a gun that pulls the trigger and starts the beginning of no return. 

Things fall apart; they crumble, they shatter, and they fracture-unfurling into the crisp contaminated air.

And those things dance and linger stationed on our eyelids haunting our sights until they are acknowledged.

But we as people consisting of fear, agony, and more fear leap away from those things.

We run from what we don’t know because the unknown screams louder than a ghost in sight.

Things fall apart, and that is what I struggle to accept.

Because I’m tired of all the good going bad.

I’m tired of the orbs of mental exhaustion populating in my head.

I’m tired of not knowing if things are going to be okay.

And I’m tired of being tired.

I don’t like what I don’t know because there is a possibility of defeat.

And sometimes defeat means you’ll get hurt.

And when we’re hurt, we must forgive.

And since forgiveness means letting go of hope for a better pass and grabbing on to hope for a better future, then I will be okay.

And things will fall apart.