OMG, WHAT TO WEAR

Earlier I was watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta - or maybe it's Georgia? I don't know but I couldn't finish it because of the personalities and staged drama. There was one comment in particular that was made by Phaedra in regards to one of the other "real" housewives: she had her arms swinging like she was she was from the south side. WHY ARE YOU STEREOTYPING YOUR OWN PEOPLE. SHE LITERALLY SAID THAT BLACK GIRL was acting "GHETTO" or "HOOD" (it's all the same honestly). If someone of a different color called someone hood or said they were acting like they were from the south side, ALMOST EVERY BLACK PERSON WOULD BE OFFENDED.

JESUS. EFFING. CHRIST.

Later today, I'm scrolling through the stupidity on Facebook and I see this article "24 Things Women Should Never Wear After Age 30". Its statements likes this one that make me question humanity. What the fuck. Where are people getting the idea that they're opinion on what others are wearing is relevant or needed? Even if you're the darn Fashion Police, someone else's appearance is none of your business. 

I swear there is something wrong with every form of "reasoning" this person produces.

#24 - Graphic Tees

"You're what we call a 'grown-up' now. Please Dress like an adult please." 

• Am I the only one who believes being a grown-up implies that you are capable and authorized to make your own decisions? Meaning how you represent and present yourself is up to you and only you? And what the hell does dress like an adult mean? I don't remember "adult" being a way to describe some's sense of style.

"Oh my gosh, Cindy your outfit is so cute - you look like an adult!"  No.

#23 - Bedazzled anything

"You're not 13, leave the rhinestones for a tween."

• Who would have thought the rhinestones on someone else's shirt would bother someone so much?

#22 - Blue Eyeshadow

"Actually no one should ever wear blue eye shadow. With the exception of drag queens."

• If something like blue eye shadow is a challenge for many people, then those who can overcome the challenge should be able to roam the streets proudly. Who are you to claim whether not something fits someone else. Sit the fuck down.

#21 - Victoria's Secret PINK

"PINK is targeted at teens and college girls. Wear your big girl panties please." 

• This is just a really condescending cunt-like thing to say.

#19 Sparkly Pants 

• If it's cute, and you're cute, their perception on it is irrelevant.

#17 - Non-matching Socks

"By age 30, you should be able to keep better track of your socks."

• What are you, the sock police? Who is ever that bothered by someone's socks. 

#16 - Hoop Earrings

"Only girls in high school can still pull off hoop earrings."

• That's like saying only children can like to color. 

#12 - Short Dresses

"You don't have to bare it all to be sexy."

• You're attempting to be sexy by showing skin? Why is that people are so critical of things that don't affect them specifically? If it does not represent you personally in a negative way, why is it something you must disagree with. 

#11 - Mini-skirts

"By this age, women should know it's always better to leave something to the imagination."

• Fuck you for deciding what women should know.

#9 Crop Tops

"Even if you have a bangin' body, leave these "shirts" for the young folk."

• Because young folk need to show off their bangin' body.

#8 - Cheap Bras

"Your breasts deserve proper support by this age."

• It's the breast support police, ah that make sense now!

#1 - Scrunchies

"If you're old enough to do your own hair, you should not be wearing scrunchies."

• Wait, a ponytail isn't a way to do your hair????

Cross the line if you're scared to fall in love.

The V in Violence

It always amazes me when I hear about a fight or altercation and I observe the vast amount of people exclaiming that they would have done this and that.. It's truly amazing.

Personally, I don't do violence. Sure, there are personalities I've encountered that I've been repelled by. And yes, there are some people I sometimes dream of wiping the floor with but I specifically don't go to those places in my head for a reason. And when I do, it is always a very short visit.

People love watching others get their ass kicked - that is a fact and not an ideal because I've heard it, and I've seen it. Whenever there is a fight in my school, people jump up like fucking monkeys and shout "World star!" repeatedly. They record it, and they laugh because it's always funny until someone gets hurt - then it's hilarious.

Well, if you're black or a starving child in Africa it's politically incorrect and JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED.

Give me a break.

But girls can rip each other's weave from their heads and guys can be jumped by a gang and it's cool. A while ago we watched a video in class about the South African Apartheid. In the video, these native Africans beat the pulp out of this white guy walking down the street. Almost every kid cheered the fighting on, totally entertained by the clip. Then we watched a video of white South Africans shooting at native South Africans in one of the "ghettos". And I swear the entire energy of the classroom changed. Everyone was saying how awful it was, that the white people were wrong for doing that and it gave me a headache.

I 100% agree that the apartheid was fucked up. I think depriving people from their own rights as a soul and a spirit that needs to cultivate is a fucked up as beating the hell out of someone because their skin looks just like the skin of those who broke you down. It's all fucked up.

Listening to people go on about how they would have "sent that bitch to the hospital if she put her hands on me" literally makes me want to admit myself into some mental institution because that kind of "logic" is crazy. And I'm more likely to be called crazy for not supporting violence with violence. Excuse me for thinking it's ridiculous to burn shops down and blow up cars because police officers killed a man who was innocent in your eyes. I mean just ask yourself how dumb you have to be to cause chaos to stop chaos. Please, go sit the fuck down.

The Mike Brown and Eric Garner situations are messed up. But we don't know enough to decide who's really innocent and who is guilty. I there is footage of Mike Brown stealing and assaulting the store clerk, then he is guilty of something. If the reports say the police officer shot the guy, then he too is guilty of something. Take away the colors and the perpetuated animosity blacks have for whites and you've got this:

A young man along with a friend steals from a convenient store and assaults the store clerk when he is confronted. Later that day a police officer gets into an altercation with the young man and the young man is killed.

Who is most responsible for the way things turned out that day?

Is karma really a bitch?

SONG FOR TODAY: Wednesday Night Interlude - Drake, PARTYNEXTDOOR

Why Are You Angry? (P)

Why are you angry? Your skin envelopes your arms the way our very grass hugs broken trees.

We stem from the same formed soul.

Yes my eyes sparkle a little more than yours, and my hair may be finer but that will never be the battle to fight.

My patience has never been very thick, and it will always run thin for the adolescent mindset of the old and broken.

You paint your flag on the same skirt of my yard, but I am the enemy.

This imagined white supremacy supplies stamps for your child's food, yet I am your enemy.

My white looks ugly, because your black is beautiful, and I am the enemy though that message is your kid's breakfast.

Tell me why you're angry.

Poor me, yes poor me, can somebody pour me a cup of the same tea that fills your empty hating hole.

Plead black power and the university carries you.

Use black power and the job description will fit you.

Yell black power and the system will forgive you.

Whisper white supremacy and the system will kill you.

United we wish to stand, yet my color stands no chance in the same room as yours.

Black lives matter. Yes black lives matter, but my white will matter as long as my matter matters to somebody.

I should be angry.

My color might not please you, but pleased you must be to announce that. The world just has to know that you're uncomfortable because you're not secure.

You're insecure.

Your black can't crack because you're already swimming in pieces.

And my white can't fight for my rights as a human because the system wants me dead.

So why are you angry?

Tell me why you’re angry.

Choose Her Identity

The other day I went hunting for casual - but cute - dresses. I use to tell myself that I hated dresses, skirts, shorts, or just anything that revealed my legs which I also hated. But I bought this one red dress, adored it, and now all I want to do is walk around in dresses. Anyway, I went to the store with some friends and I could hardly find any casual dresses. My favorite kind of dresses are fit & flare. But I love a good fitted dress. In my head, my body isn't like GOD DAMN, so I prefer fitted clothes. I love skinny jeans, and tank tops although I dress like some conservative bitch who never misses a day of church. 

I found this dress that was pretty simple, and fitted. It literally hugged my body better than I can hug myself. And as I was staring at my reflection I felt so uncomfortable because I was seeing my body. I was seeing the "curvy-ness" (making up words because if Shakespeare can do it, I can to) that others have mentioned. I don't know how to explain it, but if you were to outline my figure, it widens around my hips then goes back to the slimness (if that's a word). It's almost similar to an hourglass figure except my top half isn't huge. Like I said, I see myself as this skinny little twig so it was kinda cool while it lasted.

I didn't end up buying the dress because of many reasons but the main one being I didn't want to accept that my body isn't the bland shapeless "thing" I picture it to be. For fifteen years, SO many people have called me "twig", "twig branch." "bones", "skeleton," and I mean my name might as well be skinny bitch for the amount of times I've been called one. And so of course since I never heard anything good about my physical appearance I just figured I'm some nothing but a skinny bitch. That's not even the frustrating part.

I actually believe the derogatory bullshit labels people have slumped me under. I can't even say one good thing about myself, yet ask me what I would like to change and I'll give you a list within two seconds. I'm seriously so hard on myself; i'm always beating myself up about not being "pretty enough" because my parents, my sisters, my brothers, cunts at school, have always built me up to believe that I'm worth nothing, I'm ugly as fuck, and I should never complain about anything because I'M A FUCKING SIZE TWO. 

And crap like that isn't easy to get over; I'll break myself before I fix myself because it's what I know. It's what comes to my head when I see myself. I don't see the pretty eyes people say I have. I don't see white teeth. I don't see my model figure. 

Bullshit is legit the hardest thing to climb over because it takes so long to realize that it's a pile that was never really there. I know that you'll only ever be what you perceive yourself to be. I know that I'm only as ugly as I think I am. And that's the most frustrating part. Knowing what it takes to find solace in who you are and what you look like, but not being to.

Especially because people who don't even matter to me are the reason that I think so poorly of myself. I mean, they've realllllly fucked me up inside and it boggles every crevasse in my mind that they're probably not aware of that. It literally kills me.

Never let someone else choose your identity - it is all you have.

SONG FOR TODAY: BLACK MAGIC WOMAN - SANTANA